So… how ’bout them Guardians of the Galaxy?

Okay, so I totally meant to do a reviewy-type post for Days of Future Past, but never got around to it because… uh… AMNESIA DUST!

Okay, so I, like many people, saw Guardians of the Galaxy.  Also like many people, I had thoughts about it.  Also also like many people, I enjoyed it.  And now the thoughts:

  • Before I go into anything else about the film, I feel the need to give props to Nicole Perlman’s screenplay, because far too few people are.  Probably because everyone thinks that directors are the only creative forces that matter in film-making.  Which is a shame, because while James Gunn’s directing was excellent for this movie, the dialogue and characterization was what made it.
  • Important aside: the marketing surrounding this movie was quite ingenious.  The fact that the marketing hyped up the fact that about ninety-something percent of the audience had no idea who or what any of these characters were is simply extraordinary in this age of nostalgia-mining.  While GotG is an adapted concept, as far as most of the audience is concerned the Marvel brand was the only thing connecting the film to anything familiar.  I’m hoping that the marketing strategists who worked on GotG will get to work on publicity for more original projects in the future, because I think they’ll be able to work wonders.
  • I think it bears mentioning that prior to today, I have never seen such enthusiasm among the children in the audience for any movie that was not explicitly kid-centric.  GotG aimed for a wide age range, and if the delighted crowd I saw today is any indication (including the long lines to get in), then I think it certainly succeeded in that regard.
  • The cosmic side of Marvel is one of the densest settings in comics (in my opinion), and I was concerned that this film was going to bog itself down with exposition– or worse, try to tip-toe the audience its world at the expense of the story.  Thankfully, GotG took the approach used in the original Star Wars: dropping you straight into the setting and letting the plot and characters speak for themselves (okay, we had a few minutes at the beginning on Earth, but then we jumped forward about twenty-odd years for the rest, so it hardly counts).  I vastly prefer this sort of storytelling, and it worked very well here; by not trying to explain too many things and avoiding relying on ‘normal’ people to gasp in amazement at all the weirdness (a phenomenon I’ve taken to calling ‘Companion Syndrome,’ after this trope’s tedious overuse in Doctor Who since the 2005 revival), the setting felt more authentic and believable.  I found that the strange space opera world of GotG felt, if anything, more real than the more grounded Marvel films, since we didn’t have a constant ‘normal life’ to compare it to.
  • The characters, as mentioned above, were what really made this movie.  But rather than talk about the individual characters, I’m more interested in their dynamics.  First of all, even though the film used Peter Quill as its primary viewpoint character, he was not the overall hero of the story.  This was very much a buddy hero flick, and even though Peter took on the leadership role by the end, the entire team had mutually-critical roles in the plot, development, and interpersonal relationships.  We’ve seen several ‘bunch of misfits form a team’ movies over the years, but this was one of the few that actually made them feel like they had grown into a family by the time the credits rolled.
  • I really like how the Gamora-Peter relationship turned out, primarily because it really didn’t force itself as a romantic one.  In fact, while the two characters became very close by the end, I didn’t get an explicitly romantic vibe from them.  Well, there was a lot of potentially-sexual tension that simmered throughout the second act, but it didn’t really go anywhere; during the finale, the semi-romantic interactions were subsumed by their status as comrades-in-arms.  I hate the fact that we still live in a world where it’s still noteworthy that a movie doesn’t push the female lead as a love interest, but I hope that this film’s success draws more attention to the fact that we don’t need ‘obligatory romances’ to keep things interesting.
  • Also on the subject of Gamora, I was intrigued by her rivalry with Nebula.  They left a ton of unanswered questions about the two of them, but I felt that felt that Zoe Saldana and Karen Gillan were able to use those ambiguities to bring a greater sense of gravitas to their characters’ interactions.  While this movie was about establishing how the Guardians themselves became a family, I hope that we’ll see more with these two in the future.  I do think that they could have done more with both of them, but in general I would say that Gamora had as much or more development as the other heroes, while Nebula actually had more than the other villains.  So it’s a good start.
  • I want to gush for hours about Rocket and Groot, but I’ll restrain myself.  Aside from the two of them being extremely funny, I have to say that the two of them were some of the most engaging CGI characters I’ve yet seen in a movie.  Both the physical actors on set and the voice actors really brought these guys to life.  I’d like to give mad props to Vin Diesel’s performance as Groot in particular.  There’s a lot more to voice acting than just reading the lines, and Diesel had literally three words to go with for the entire film.  Yet each iteration of ‘I am Groot’ was delivered with a surprising spectrum of emotion and tone.
  • From a purely storytelling perspective, GotG‘s biggest strength was that it treated itself like a standalone film.  While there were dozens of Marvel Easter eggs throughout, nothing in this movie required a prior understanding of previous films in the Marvel canon (Thanos’ appearance was the closest thing to this, but even then his presence has only been indirect so far and I’m pretty sure that this is the first time he’s even been named onscreen).  Even with the obvious sequel hooks at the end, GotG‘s narrative was almost entirely self-contained.  Again, it could be best compared to the original Star Wars in this regard (which, as I’m sure you recall, had a fully encapsulated story even while making it clear that Darth Vader and the Empire were still a threat in the future).
  • The biggest complaint I’ve heard about GotG was that it was ‘predictable’ and had ‘too many clichés,’ but I’ve always felt that such a claim is more of a description than a criticism; all fiction (and art in general) is inherently derivative of past works, so this is like going to the beach and being unhappy about the existence of water and sand.  But I digress.  In any case, this film enthusiastically embraced every trope it could get its grubby little paws on, making fun of most of them on the way (nearly every cliché, from the ‘let’s put our differences aside and save the day speech’ to the ‘slow-motion hallway walk,’ was accompanied by a self-aware joke or two).  Indeed, this self-parody was so pervasive that when the film actually played tropes completely straight, they felt as fresh as they did before constant imitation diluted their original impact.  In short, every aspect of the production– from Perlman’s script and Dunn’s direction to the actors and SFX– was positively drenched in playful self-awareness.  It’s easy to dismiss works that embrace conventions rather than actively defy them (especially if one, like the majority of critics and literary analysts, is trained in the theory of art and not the actual mechanics behind its construction), but these stories are the ones that are most interesting and useful to me as a storyteller myself (and incidentally are often the ones that have the longest-lasting cultural impacts; there’s a reason why Shakespeare is still considered relevant four hundred years later, after all).
  • Overall, Guardians of the Galaxy was just a lot of fun.  It didn’t try too hard, it didn’t take itself very seriously, it didn’t make excuses, it didn’t get up on a soapbox about anything, and it definitely didn’t pretend to be anything that it wasn’t.  In this regard, GotG was one of the most refreshingly honest movies in recent memory.  Blockbusters tread an uneasy path: most of them are very openly escapist*, but often try to establish more critical ‘street cred’ with varying degrees of success (though usually to their detriment).  Indie and ‘art’ films are rarely any better, since they more often than not disappear up their own backsides trying to make ‘A Statement.’  GotG decided it was going to have nothing to do with any of that buffoonery: it wanted to be a fun movie and it decided to be smart about it.  It celebrates its own silliness in ways that few films are willing to do, but by doing so, it comes across as a much more mature work than most of its contemporaries (including, I might add by way of pettiness, the ‘highbrow’ Oscar-bait crowd).  Guardians of the Galaxy was not the greatest movie I’ve ever seen– and it probably wasn’t even the best Marvel film so far (I usually have to give these movies a few months before I can rank them)–, but it was a ridiculously fun breath of fresh air that the po-faced popular culture of the last decade desperately needed.  Time will tell how well it stands up to the test of time, but I think that history’s judgment will be very kind to this movie, even after audiences tire of the Marvel Studios project.

* I’m not using ‘escapist’ as a pejorative, mind you.  Escapism, to a large extent, is one of the driving factors behind the drive to create art in the first place.  Escapism is no more inherently positive or negative than our species’ universal need for self-actualization.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘They would have had a Sharknado of a relationship’

-things my friends say when we’re gossiping

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

The Middle East Friendship Chart – Imgur

The Middle East Friendship Chart – Imgur.

Hopefully the bloody picture will show up this time

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Dog Chess

            All who have ever walked with their dogs in public have played the noble sport of Dog Chess.  Much like traditional Chess, the objective of Dog Chess is fairly straightforward: have a pleasant stroll with your canine companions while avoiding conflicts with other dogs, joggers, children, other dogs, wild beasts, the elderly, and other dogs.  Also like traditional Chess, this simple premise masks a game of beguiling complexities, variations, metagaming, and overextended similes. 

            While perhaps not a Grand Master of this time-honoured contest, I have accrued significant proficiency in Dog Chess.  My immediate family owns a pair of rambunctious hounds: Frankie, an elegant Labrador-retriever mix with vanilla-dipped-in-caramel fur and eyes drawn by Walt Disney, and Wilbur, a young Finnish Lapphund mix with snow white fur and a dedicated determination to place every atom of the physical universe into his mouth at some point or another.  They are not aggressive dogs by any means, but they can be quite territorial and standoffish around unfamiliar animals.  Since a sizeable canine population exists alongside the good burghers of Culpeper, Virginia, our regular expeditions to the park are inevitably punctuated by close encounters of the barking kind.

            Which brings us, at long last, to the day’s gratuitous anecdote.  Whilst I guided my own personal Scylla and Charybdis through the park yesterday morning, I happened upon another Dog Chess player.  I’m no slouch at the sport, but the woman in question—whose name I do not know, but since she looked like a Melissa, I am calling her that from now on—was clearly playing on a Kasparovian level.  Melissa was jogging with two dogs that might have been greyhounds (or some strange greyhound mix), while simultaneously staying behind my own entourage at a respectable distance.  Since she and her hounds were moving visibly faster than me, I can only assume that Melissa was also a wizard.

            But Melissa was not an issue.  Up on a nearby ridge, a great beast gazed down at the park from an adjacent yard.  White was its fur, no leash held it at bay, and in a better world its arrival would have been heralded by Jerry Goldsmith’s score from The Omen.  I am speaking, of course, of the Chihuahua. 

            Now, you have to understand something about Chihuahuas.  Small dogs, as a rule, believe that they are large dogs and behave accordingly.  A given Chihuahua, being comedically tiny on a cartoonish level, labours under the delusion that zhe is the second coming of Andrewsarchus (tell this joke to your paeleontologist friends, and they’re going to laugh, trust me).  What I’m getting at is that Chihuahuas are utterly fearless. 

            So this little fella sees Frankie and Wilbur and comes barreling into the park, butt wiggling in ways that presumably inspired Igor Sikorsky’s contributions to aviation.  At this point I, in gross violation of common sense to all but the most seasoned of Dog Chess players, slowed my movement to a crawl, hoping in vain that my dogs’ stalwart defensive posture (ha!) would discourage the pipsqueak’s advance.  Melissa, having both speed and cojones of steel, elected instead to run around and behind me, strategically positioning my party directly between the Chihuahua and herself.  Dog Chess is a cutthroat sport, and I would have done the same in her position.

            Frankie, the perennial Mouth of Sauron in these situations, had surprisingly not barked yet during this entire escapade.  As the Chihuahua drew closer, though, the fur along her spine stuck up, giving the impression of a downy stegosaur.  Once the Chihuahua had come within a scant handful of meters of my miniature pack, Frankie let out a soft growl, as is her wont.  ‘Twas at this point when the Chihuahua had one of those moments of clarity that come but rarely in the lives of small dogs: the startling revelation of his actual physical size in comparison to another dog.

            The small furry sausage turned his wee tail and retreated.  ‘I have still won a moral victory!’ barked the Chihuahua, or so my overactive imagination provided.  ‘We will meet again, big dogs!  In another time!  In another life!’  Okay, that last part was just me quoting from the Tintin movie.  In my defense, it’s a really good movie and I deserve a paycheck from Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson for the sheer number of times I’ve plugged it in conversation.

Dog Chess stories, like most gaming stories, do not generally have a point or central thesis, and this story is no exception.  It’s all about the thrill of playing the game, and hopefully conveying some sense to the audience.  But seriously, though, the Chihuahua was hilarious.  You should have been there.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Some Out-of-Context Quotes from the Story I’m Working On

Since I’ve actually started writing it, I thought I might share some of the oddest lines

  • ‘I’m going to regret asking this, but why did the entire nation of Sweden put a restraining order on you?’
  • ‘I shall die as I have lived: right all the time.’
  • ‘BEHOLD!  The elephant in the room!’
  • ‘Steve, how are you even a person?’
  • ‘That’s… the most Humanist sinister global conspiracy I’ve ever heard of.’
  • ‘I think I would have remembered meeting an Afrikaner cyborg before.’
  • ‘Revolutionary terrorists are usually the model of law-abiding behaviour.’
  • ‘So, on a scale of 1 to nothing whatsoever, what actually happened back there?  Apart from everyone getting very angry and the Chinese mob boss doing his best phoenix impression, that was pretty self-explanatory.’
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

My thoughts on Captain America: The Winter Soldier (mercifully spoiler-free)

It should come as no surprise that I liked the film, but it’s important for me to discuss why I liked it.  While I admittedly tend to like just about everything, I do surprisingly put a lot of thought into my reasoning.  So here goes.  No real spoilers, unless you count really basic plot stuff that shows up in the trailers.

  • The most important thing about Winter Soldier is that, while I was watching it, I finally figured out the secret of why the Marvel Studios project has been so successful: the creative teams involved do not treat ‘Superhero’ as a genre.  To them, a Superhero is a character that can be used to tell stories in any genre, but not a genre in and of itself.  Winter Soldier‘s political conspiracy storyline is a welcome addition to the Studio’s narrative oeuvre (incidentally, this word is impossible to write without a spell check), and it is probably one of the best films of that nature in recent memory.  More importantly, this movie highlights the sheer flexibility of Marvel’s brand, which is great news considering that the company has recently announced that it has plans for about fifteen more years of movies.
  • Winter Soldier is a sterling example of the sort of story that Captain America does best: the eternal moral conflict between the grand ideals that America claims to stand for and the corrupt cynicism that all too often festers beneath that image.  Notably, this film plays this struggle out in ethical terms and not patriotic ones, which allows the story to deal with the issue without degenerating into a series of ideological bullet points.
  • Despite the fact that the movie is entitled ‘Captain America,’ it really is a team movie like The Avengers (just, y’know, lower-key and with more espionage).  While the good Captain is our viewpoint character for most of the film, he is not its sole hero.  He, Black Widow, and Falcon are all equally important to the outcome of the plot, and I really could not call any of them ‘sidekicks’ to anyone else.  Actually, scratch that: everyone is Nick Fury’s sidekick, but that’s beside the point.
  • Sam Wilson/Falcon is definitely my favourite character in the film, and I hope Marvel does more with him in the future.  I could go on all night about why I love him, so I’ll just say that his character marks the first time I’ve ever seen a work of fiction acknowledge the existence and significance of the US Department of Veterans’ Affairs, and leave you to see the movie for the rest.
  • Black Widow is in excellent form throughout the movie, and in many ways, she helps bring the whole story together.  Her roles throughout the story range from suave spy to cunning negotiator to warrior, but perhaps most significantly she is Steve’s Vergil, guiding him into the dark netherworld of espionage.  And she’s not even a love interest, either; she shares some tender moments with Steve, but these are moments of camaraderie and mutual respect more than anything.
  • Honestly, the whole cast is great.  Samuel L Jackson has always been a great Nick Fury, but Winter Soldier is probably the first chance he has had to truly humanize the character.  Robert Redford is particularly impressive as the new character Alexander Pierce, and his performance’s stoic confidence adds a lot of weight to every scene he’s in.  Hayley Atwell returns from the first Captain America for a handful of scenes, both of which broke my heart into little pieces.
  • I have to make a separate bullet point to mention the fact that Danny Pudi, best known as Community‘s Abed Nadir and one of my favourite actors working today, makes a brief cameo during the film’s final act.  Sorry, but this is important to me.
  • I want to talk about the actual Winter Soldier himself, but I really can’t say anything that isn’t a huge plot spoiler.  Even considering that the character’s backstory was revealed in a comic published nearly ten years ago (i.e., way past my water mark for caring about spoilers), there’s enough variation from the comic to merit my silence.  For now.
  • As has become standard for Marvel Studios productions, the whole movie is replete with allusions to the company’s mythology, which is always a ton of fun.  I’m particularly pleased by the fact that one character specifically namedrops Doctor Strange, one of my favourite Marvel heroes.  The allusions also extend into Marvel’s cinematic history, including a brief reappearance of Garry Shandling as Senator Stern from Iron Man 2 (an appearance which incidentally casts his role in the older film in a much darker light).
  • Unusually for a modern action movie, I noticed that Winter Soldier used slow-motion only twice (by my count) in the entire film.  The action sequences are thus much faster and more intense than those in most films of this type, which lends a greater sense of realism and urgency to the events.
  • EDIT BECAUSE I FORGOT TO ADD THIS THE FIRST TIME: This movie has some awesome thematic similarities to the Metal Gear franchise, especially Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty.  This is personally important to me because of reasons.
  • I want to say more, but perhaps now would be a good time to stop and maybe go to bed.  Anyway, it was an excellent movie.
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Totally forgot to post these lovely character designs I did a few weeks ago

Image

 

‘DEFINITELY not in Kansas anymore.’
Dorothy Gale, from L Frank Baum’s Land of Oz, as an adult. She’s also wearing the Silver Shoes taken from the Witch of the East (Ruby Slippers in the film; I put rubies and red magical sparks on them as a nod to the adaptation). The rifle is more for decoration than anything, but it makes sense to me that a girl like Dorothy, having grown up on a farm, would have one.

Image

 

‘Curiouser and curiouser.’
Alice Pleasance, from Lewis Carroll’s Wonderland, as an adult (whom he named after Alice Pleasance Liddell). I’m liking the weird colour scheme going on in her outfit. She’s carrying the vorpal sword that, according to the tale, beheaded the manxome Jabberwock. She also has red hair, because most depictions of Alice are either blonde or dark-haired and I wanted to feel special.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What would happ…

What would happen if you shot Schrödinger’s Cat with Chekhov’s Gun? Would you only find out if it was alive or dead during the third act?

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The giantess ol…

The giantess old in Ironwood sat,
In the east, and bore the brood of Fenrir;
Among these one in monster’s guise
Was soon to steal the sun from the sky.

There feeds he full on the flesh of the dead,
And the home of the gods he reddens with gore;
Dark grows the sun, and in summer soon
Come mighty storms: would you know yet more?

On a hill there sat, and smote on his harp,
Eggthér the joyous, the giants’ warder;
Above him the cock in the bird-wood crowed,
Fair and red did Fjalar stand.

Then to the gods crowed Gollinkambi,
He wakes the heroes in Odin’s hall;
And beneath the earth does another crow,
The rust-red bird at the bars of Hel.

Now Garm howls loud before Gnipahellir,
The fetters will burst, and the wolf run free;
Much do I know, and more can see
Of the fate of the gods, the mighty in fight.

Brothers shall fight and fell each other,
And sisters’ sons shall kinship stain;
Hard is it on earth, with mighty whoredom;
Axe-time, sword-time, shields are sundered,
Wind-time, wolf-time, ere the world falls;
Nor ever shall men each other spare.

Fast move the sons of Mím, and fate
Is heard in the note of the Gjallarhorn;
Loud blows Heimdall, the horn is aloft,
In fear quake all who on Hel-roads are.

Yggdrasil shakes, and shiver on high
The ancient limbs, and the giant is loose;
To the head of Mím does Odin give heed,
But the kinsman of Surt shall slay him soon.

How fare the gods? How fare the elves?
All Jotunheim groans, the gods are at council;
Loud roar the dwarfs by the doors of stone,
The masters of the rocks: would you know yet more?

Now Garm howls loud before Gnipahellir,
The fetters will burst, and the wolf run free
Much do I know, and more can see
Of the fate of the gods, the mighty in fight.

From the east comes Hrym with shield held high;
In giant-wrath does the serpent writhe;
O’er the waves he twists, and the tawny eagle
Gnaws corpses screaming; Naglfar is loose.

O’er the sea from the north there sails a ship
With the people of Hel, at the helm stands Loki;
After the wolf do wild men follow,
And with them the brother of Byleist goes.

Surt fares from the south with the scourge of branches,
The sun of the battle-gods shone from his sword;
The crags are sundered, the giant-women sink,
The dead throng Hel-way, and heaven is cloven.

Now comes to Hlín yet another hurt,
When Odin fares to fight with the wolf,
And Beli’s fair slayer seeks out Surt,
For there must fall the joy of Frigg.

Then comes the Victory-father’s mighty son,
Vithar, to fight with the foaming wolf;
In the giant’s son does he thrust his sword
Full to the heart: his father is avenged.

Hither there comes the son of Hlodyn,
The bright snake gapes to heaven above;
. . . . . . . . . .
Against the serpent goes Odin’s son.

In anger smites the warder of earth-
Forth from their homes | must all men flee-
Nine paces fares the son of Fjorgyn,
And, slain by the serpent, fearless he sinks.

The sun turns black, earth sinks in the sea,
The hot stars down from heaven are whirled;
Fierce grows the steam and the life-feeding flame,
Till fire leaps high about heaven itself.

Now Garm howls loud before Gnipahellir,
The fetters will burst, and the wolf run free;
Much do I know, and more can see
Of the fate of the gods, the mighty in fight.

Now do I see the earth anew
Rise all green from the waves again;
The cataracts fall, and the eagle flies,
And fish he catches beneath the cliffs.

Völuspá, from the Poetic Edda

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Suffice to say,…

Suffice to say, the Crimean gamble went roughly as well for Russia as every historical attempt to invade Russia barring those under the jurisdiction of Chinggis Khan.

Me, on the Crimean War.  God, I love writing History papers.  If I could get paid full-time for this, I would be the happiest person alive.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.